Category Archives: Uncategorized

truer words have never been spoken

APRIL 27, 2011 UPDATE: I don’t even update this blog anymore, but every once in a while, I get an email that someone has commented on this post. I want to clarify: I do not take credit for the content of this post. Neither does the person who forwarded me the Facebook message with the content in it – it was one of those pass-along to make your friends laugh type things, and I thought it was great, so I wanted to share it. Sorry for any confusion. I’ve been told it’s from


This is the most identifiable collection of thoughts I ever read. I didn’t write it, and I have no idea who did, but it’s awesome…(courtesy of a facebook note by Yomssss)

Random thoughts from people our age…

1. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
2. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
3. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
4. I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need to drink to have fun.” Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they’ve invented the lighter?
5. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
6. That’s enough, Nickelback.
7. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
8. Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
9. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.
10. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
11. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.
12. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.
13. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
14. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
15. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
16. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
17. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
18. Was learning cursive really necessary?
19. Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.
20. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
21. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
22. My brother’s Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, “Cuz we beat you, and you hate us.” Classy, bro.
23. Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.
24. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
25. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
26. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in…(10 second lapse)..ummm…Goonies”
27. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
28. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.
29. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
30. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
31. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
32. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
33. I would like to officially coin the phrase ‘catching the swine flu’ to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: “Dave caught the swine flu last night.”
34. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
35. Bad decisions make good stories
36. Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
37. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
38. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
39. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….
40. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
41. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.
42. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
43. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
44. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.
45. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV.. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?’
46. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
47. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
48. When I meet a new girl, I’m terrified of mentioning something she hasn’t already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
49. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
50. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles…
51. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
52. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
53. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
54. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
55. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.
56. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…
57. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day “Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?” How the hell do I respond to that?
58. It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
59. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
60. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
61. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
62. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner

The time I ran into someone very unexpected and other embarrassing tales.

I’ve spent the better part of my last four workdays reading the archives of a blog called Funny Gals. I stumbled upon it through twitter and it’s really pretty good. The two women are former journalists, but that’s about all I know (as far as who they are…past that, it seems they let their readers know A LOT) because they keep their identities pretty well hidden.

Anyway, reading this blog inspired me to think about a funny/embarrassing story from my life. I was beginning to think that really funny things didn’t happen to me, when I remembered…


Just last week, one of my best friends (since I was 5) turned 21. We had a weekend of festivities planned, starting with going out just before she turned 21 at midnight.

After a champagne toast at her house and some birthday banana cream pie, complete with cherry smiley face, we headed to Hartford.

I had offered to be the DD, so we set out in my beat-up ’98 Altima and arrived at the Pour House on Allyn Street. Now, the Pour House is a really fun bar because it’s got everything – the first floor is your typical bar, with a DJ spinning rock and roll, pool tables, and peanut shells on the floor. Upstairs, it’s a completely different world – a dark dancefloor that sounds like a high school dance – wayyy too much rap music.

To me, this is the best of both worlds. Rock and roll is my heart and soul (wow, that was pathetic). My best friend, Nickie, preferred the first level. But I love to dance. And so does the birthday girl, so we split our time between the two, going back and forth whenever we’d get bored.

Upstairs, we kept getting skeeved by the creeps trying to “dance” with us (yeah, I guess thrusting your pelvis into my back could be considered dancing in some countries). To our left was a woman in her forties, overweight and in an ill-fitting tube top, grinding with a sleazeball half her age. I pointed her out to the birthday girl and made a comment about her being to old to be there.

On our fourth or fifth trip back upstairs, the birthday girl had to use the bathroom. It stunk something awful in there, so Nickie and I told her we’d wait outside.

As I walked out, my gaze wandered to the right, toward the strobe lit dance floor. A mere four feet from me, I noticed a short, chubby woman who was definitely not fitting in with the crowd. She was alone, and standing over by the bathrooms, not on the dance floor. After I did a double-take, I realized this woman was MY MOTHER.

Picking my jaw up off the floor, I went over to her. We both started laughing immediately. I laughed uncontrollably for a full two minutes, until tears were streaming down my cheeks. My friends thought it was great.

I told her she belonged at someplace more suitable for a 47-year-old, and she pointed out that she was DDing and was only drinking a ginger ale.

She couldn’t find the friend from work who she’d come with, so we took her under our wing and brought her downstairs with us. Nickie did a shot of whiskey. With my mother. She thought it was great.

She spent much of the time trying to track down her friend, to no avail. When she finally grabbed her, I was horrified that it was the tube-topped-pig-lady.

“You need to teach your mom how to go clubbin’!” she said as she left.

You know what? I think I’ll pass.

Mommy and Me before Prom '06. Before we accidentally went out drinking together...

Mommy and Me before Prom '06. Before we accidentally went out drinking together...

Insert Clever Title about Pandora’s Box here

what i'm listening to RIGHT NOW. whoa.

what i'm listening to RIGHT NOW. whoa.

I know I’m about four years late, but I have recently become obsessed with

One day, here in my little cubicle at the Courant, my iPod battery died. Feeling sad and needing music, I remembered that Pandora is excellent. So I set up an account.

For those who don’t know me, I have issues with listening to new music. I loooove music, but I get stuck. But with pandora, I am forced to listen to some stuff I’m not familiar with, and it’s absolutely fabulous.

Thanks to my She and Him station, I got a little more exposure to Rilo Kiley and now I even have a Rilo Kiley station! Yayyy for great chick-fronted bands. 🙂

Guess who’s back…

Once upon a time, this was a blog for a journalism course entitled “Interactive Media and the Election.”

Not that I don’t love talking about Obama and his rock star status, but I am going to kick it back up as something else. What, exactly, I’m not sure. But something.

So stay tuned, because eventually, this will be thrilling 😉

However You Like

The kids at Ron Clark Academy in Atlanta performed this great take on T.I.‘s (he’s from Atlanta, too) hit “Whatever You Like,” changing all of the lyrics to help get out the vote. It’s adorable, smart, and it gets right to the point. The verses focus on each candidate’s stand on the issues; the choruses end with “We could talk politics all night and you can vote however you like.” And they are so right. It doesn’t matter who you support as long as you get out and do it!